“Feel the fear and do it anyway”
I hate corporate jobs, the only upside the stability of a pay-check but even then, was it ever worth it?
Mourning Chaos
I mourn the chaos of a soul breaking. I mourn the drama of a high functioning alcohol-infused depression.
In Search for Answers
I live in fear of having these core beliefs reaffirmed, of being found out as the horrible person that I feel inside. Under-qualified and overpaid, selfish and un-creative.
2020/12/08 (Tue)
Here I am noticing the pattern, noticing the guilt I feel for under-performing, my perfectionism still running deep, still raising hurdles every so very often.
2020/11/29 (Sun)
I… I’m terrified. Outright frozen with fear of pouring all this precious time and effort into something that will not pay off, something that I’ll get sick of and lose interest in the end, wishing that I had put effort…
2020/08/25 (Tue)
Let yourself feel the things that you’re feeling. Don’t try to force them away. Let them be, feel them fully.
I’m not okay
I haven’t been feeling. I’ve been completely numb.
It’s a self-esteem issue. Again.
I have once again fallen back in my unhealthy wish to appease, to please and to make sure that I’m making the best decision according to other people.
The Relationship Ship
I am moody as fuck and I do feel bad about it, but at the same time, would you rather have your plans canceled or have to bear through hours of my cringy distanced talk about nothing of substance.
Issues, issues, issues
In anticipation of moving back to Europe, my mind has been acting like a child, imagining a variety of scenarios, both pleasant and not so much.
