2019/10/18 (Fri) 10:00

Before it escapes, grab the feeling falling through my fingers like the white grains of sand from Maldivian beaches.

Over the top.

My feelings, my emotions, my experiences.

It’s overspilling.

I wish I could have laid down on the beach watching the sky, listening to the sound of waves.

I feel like mourning a loss this big, i feel like i need to cry for all the corals, for all the sand and water, for all the creatures.

I am sad.

I can feel myself fighting. I have been craving alcohol more and more every day, just imagining the first sips of wine is making me shiver in anticipation.

I can feel myself fighting. Something deep down inside of me, restless, agitated, inappropriate.

I can feel myself fighting. The once hopeful naivety poking its head from around the corner.

I am rebuilding myself, resuming my growth, taking it slow. I am still fighting for a version of myself I could be proud of.